28 September 2007

we call her madam

Madam has been hanging around the house for well over a month now and is like a roommate at this point. We've held meetings with her to discuss the territory she had settled and how she would be fed. Madam's first plot, not at all ideal, was above the gate leading to and from our patio. "This certainly will not do," we said. We didn't want to catch our heads in her web, and she didn't seem to appreciate us shredding her home everyday. After me flailing in disgust a number of times, having run my face through her web, and her indignation at my lack of finesse we deliberated and came to a mutual understanding. Madam has moved about four feet from her previous location and has instead setup web near an outdoor light and above one of our garbage cans. You see, I used the garbage can 'benefit' to help soften the blow of her inevitable move. And after some time we've found the arrangement is actually quite beneficial to all parties concerned. We (myself and others in residence) agree to put smelly trash in our garbage can to attract flies and other insects. Her part of the bargain? Madam has agreed to catch and dispose of them as she sees fit.

Though rather large and creepy, I've enjoyed having her company and regret she will retire as winter approaches.

24 September 2007

what the.....

who comes up with this stuff anyway?

clone 'em?! really? *sigh* I've mentioned population dominance/control previously but I hadn't considered full-on cloning. of course they are speaking metaphorically. so far.

12 September 2007

If you feel it, peel it.

I generally hate posting tube videos (I've posted enough to give me a rash) but some are just too good to pass up. So for my second wang related post of the day I give you the 70's Dole banana.

stop it!

I just don't get it. Why after nearly 60 plus years of updated and nearly (not totally) reasonable doctrine regarding non-Roman Catholic churches would Mr. Popey Poopy Pants the Benedictry officially pronounce the non-Catholic churches of the world "not true churches" (to include some of the non-Roman variety of Catholic). This is the same church that has recently (relatively) apologized for their help with the slave trade, mistreatment of women, smashings and trashings of Protestants, sheer ignorance of the holocaust (at the time), condemning Galileo for his belief that the Earth was (gasp! get this) not the center of the Universe and other such "oddities." The Catholic entity has proven itself just as painfully ruthless (if not worse) as most any other religious denomination or group of spiritual people; one only need flip to any page of the grand history book.

Of course the other organized religions are not historically clean either. So look, I'm not going out of my way to poo poo Roman Catholicism in my day to day life, but in this case Mr. Benedict has put a big ol' red target on the churches ass end. Just as Sunni and Shi'a factions have put targets on their collective derrière to the point of factioning their own factions. Likewise, we saw the same idiocy during the Ariel Sharon I'm not gunna pull out, nuh uh! policy days. I won't even get started on the U.S. policy (only recently tossed aside with N. Korea) practice of not talking to evil, bah! Talk to each other you fucks! Ignorance is not bliss, it's dangerous.

Pull the curtains off the machine and one sees that the basic premise of any religious conflict is marketing. One big freakin' marketing campaign. Get your Nike hats on kids. Instead of increasing sales we're looking at an effort to increase like minded population until dominance is achieved. Be it videos, camps, 'missionarying', written propaganda, killing or good ol' natural population control. Wha?! Natural means of population control? It goes both ways. A few examples:
1. Catholics - no no, you can't have that birth control! Ever!
2. Mormons - Be fruitful you lovely young newly weds! A higher level of heaven awaits.
3. Quiverfulls - This movement freaks me out. The loh'rd'ha loves dem kids! Birth as many of the l'il loh'rdha's soldiers as you can, people!
4. Great Britain - Heard about the Irish potato blight? GB had a potato immune to the blight. The Irish didn't. Root of conflict: religion. And land. Rotting potato = population elimination.
5. Mongols - In their heyday they kicked everyone's ass! And impregnated them. Mmm, ya, make that the Holy Roman Empire too.

Can't you punks just learn to get along after all these centuries?! A lot of people out here would actually like to enjoy a peaceful, non-hate mongering religion. Or peaceful non-religion. Walk away, leave people alone, allow for self discovery. The 'white man's burden,' or whatever your burden is, doesn't have to be your burden any longer. Be free! Run with the wind children of Earth!

Stop sucking satan wang!