23 June 2007

Who knew?

Online Dating
This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:
* death (5x)
* fucking (2x)
* shit (2x)
* crap (1x)
* ass (1x)

My blog is rated R??? I honestly thought I'd look up my rating, post a squeaky clean G rating. Of course my goal would be to hit NC-17 within a week or so. Fucking, death, and ass (not necessarily in that order) did me in however. Well, at least I still have a bit of work to do — it's high time I get the rating I so deserve.

This makes me wonder... when a director fetches a measly PG-13 (the of box office death rating) on a movie, will s/he be driven to make their next movie a firm R rating? Or perhaps NC-17 before being forced to delete scenes? I would.

A few quick bloggy examples: Curly Giants moved swiftly from PG-13 to R. UDreamOfJanie started with an R and jumped up to NC-17 in no time. Some wanker (and kind fellow I'm sure) at a blog called Hot Dogs, Pretzels, and Perplexing Questions hit the NC-17 right out of the gate. Anyway, enough of that for now. Go fetch your rating! It's fun, and everybody's doing it. Discontinue use of ratings system if any of the following occurs: Itching, vertigo, dizziness, tingling in extremities, loss of balance or coordination, slurred speech, temporary blindness, profuse sweating, or heart palpitations. Some studies have shown an increase in lascivious behavior may also eliminate side-effects. In all cases, if your blog or ratings box begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter
and cover head.

Until next time, write all the cursin' and swearin' lewdest, crudest and awfulest things you can think up in my comments. It won't help my score any, but I'll sure enjoy it.

P.S. That fucking shit filled wank bag, std spewing, sex deprived son of a fucktard whore bag needs to get his shit together and fix the poor-ass pimp-slap job he's done.

Update 9:23 AM, 23 June: Got it! I feel much much better now.
Online Dating
* death (8x)
* shit (3x)
* ass (2x)
* hell (1x)


JanieBelle said...

It's much too early for me, so bear with me.

Some fucking dicknosed cuntfaced shitheaded psychotic death-mongering fundy asshole really pissed me off yesterday over at BadAstronomy.

That fucking dimwitted fucktard had the fucking nerve to fucking come on a fucking science and skeptic site, and fucking begin to fucking pontificate on how fucking women (as in women who fuck, not just colloquially) are fucking whores if they fuck and wind up with an unwanted fucking pregnancy, and called them fucking murderers if they fucking got a fucking abortion and then had the fucking audacity to fucking proclaim that anyfuckingbody of even the slightest fucking infuckingtelligence could fucking see that a fucking abortion was fucking murder, but that the fucking death penalty was fucking not.

Ok, I'm fucking all fucked the fuck out.

Anyways, the weasily little bastard used the usual slippery slimy language tricks that all those death cult types use to try to say he didn't say what he said. "Pro-life" my ass. "Pro-get your fucking neck under my boot" is more like it.

What pissed me off was not his position of ignorance, or even his zombie-like blind adherence to the death cult mantra, but rather his god damned arrogant, theocratic, bloviating pronouncements about women.

I despise being talked down to, especially by an ignorant little shiteater like that.

You have to laugh though, because he then prefaced his next comment with something like (I have no children and have never gotten anyone pregnant...)

No fucking shit, douchebag. I'm shocked.

...or not.

Hell, y'know what might cure the international problem of fundamentalist death cults?

Sex. If these little asswipes were locked in a room with an actual woman (as opposed to the blow up versions they have under their mattresses or the ones on their computer screen) or a man (latent homosexuality is their greatest fear about themselves I think, which is why they focus on it with laser vision), and left in there for a few days, they might get a fucking clue. (heh. "fucking clue" a pun.)

Of course, who would really want to volunteer to do the deed with the slimy little dirtbags like this one?

Now, I would never advocate an actual, forcible raping of anyone of course.

Even in this case, where the fundamentalist theocratic movements of the world would come to a screeching halt as they either came (heh. another pun) to their god damned senses or their motherfucking heads exploded. (heh. yet another...)

Hmmm.... on second thought... is it really rape if it's not violent and the fate of the world is in the balance?

I'll leave that to the other arm-chair philosophers for now.

I'm gonna make a post about whether gently and sweetly raping the violent, theocratic fundamentalists of the world would actually be a bad thing... Do the ends justify the means? If getting them laid by force brought about world peace and harmony, would it be worth compromising such a very basic principle?

How's that? Lots of sex and rape and fucking and violence and blasphemy, with some philosophy thrown in for spice.

vrai said...

Holy hell, that's brilliant. Your comment is well worth being a post on your own site, let alone my 'umble l'il comment box.

Yeh, I just finished reading some of the fucking fuckers fuck faced fuck munching fuck bits paste fucked on BA's comment board. Fucktard. Things were really hoppin over there.

Thanks for dropping by and for the fucking comment, Janie!

Anonymous said...

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Please, send me the photo of your pc desk and the link of your blog.
I'll publish on my blog!.
Thanks Frank
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JanieBelle said...

Thou art tagified